talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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