I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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