Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
They took my balls.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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