What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
