i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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