Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
