Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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