they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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