some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
