I cockslap morals
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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