3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
