goodnight i made you a song goodbye
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
