So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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