so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize