I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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