Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
