He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
