just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
