I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
MIDGETS
????
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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