R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
