lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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