we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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