Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
