At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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