I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
How's work?
Spinning.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
