went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
