her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Sorry about my life...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
