Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Randomize
