We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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