this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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