We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
