Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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