put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
