from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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