Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
