Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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