yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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