we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
