Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
