he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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