i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
