considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
