Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You're like the curious george of whores
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
