I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
