She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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