Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
