you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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