Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
