The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
