Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
