this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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