Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
