i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
