Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize