Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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