I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
