last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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