He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
