Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Pants are for mortals
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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