ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
