Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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