It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize